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On the June 23rd 2018, my father, David Whittaker, passed away. He was my best friend, my idol, and it was an genuine honor to call him my father.

This episode is just me sharing my experience of losing a parent, and some of the many confusing and conflicting thoughts and emotions it’s conjured up.

As well as being somewhat cathartic for me, I hope this episode manages to be of some use to you guys as well.

 

Tom O’Carroll

Tom O’Carroll is a self-confessed pedophile, pro-pedophile advocate, and writer.

He is a former chairman of the now disbanded Paedophile Information Exchange (PIE), an advocacy group that existed from 1974 to 1984 to lobby openly for the legal acceptance of pedophilia.

Tom has faced multiple convictions for pedophile related behavior, including two custodial sentences, the first time in 1981 for conspiracy to corrupt public morals and again in 2006 for the distribution of child pornography.

He is the author of two books, the first being “Paedophilia: The Radical Case”, an autobiographical account of Tom’s early life and involvement with the Pedophile Information Exchange and his beliefs about the nature of adult-child sexual relationships, and his second book, published under the pen name Carl Toms, is “Michael Jackson: Dangerous Liaisons” which argues that the late entertainer’s relationships with young boys were pedophilic in nature.

In today’s episode we delve in to Tom’s early life, the experience of first realizing his sexual attraction to children, his failed attempts to lead a normal life, and his pro-pedophile advocacy efforts.

We debate the nature of consent, whether or not adult-child sexual relationships are always harmful, if childhood sexual trauma is caused by the sexual acts themselves or subsequent societal judgement, and the likelihood of pro-pedophile advocacy ever resulting in a society which accepts adult-child sexual relationships.
 

Related Links

Heretic TOC – Tom’s WordPress Blog

Positive Memories – Cases of positive memories of erotic and platonic relationships and contacts of children with adults as seen from the perspective of the former minor.

Cases in the Research – Consenting Juveniles

Tom’s Recommended Studies

Angelides, S. (2004). Feminism, child sexual abuse, and the erasure of child sexuality. GLQ: A Journal of Lesbian and Gay Studies, 10(2), 141–177.

Graaf, H. de & Rademakers, J. (2011). The psychological measurement of childhood sexual development in Western societies: methodological challenges. Journal of Sex Research, 48(2), 118-129.

Kershnar, S. (2015). Pedophilia and Adult Child Sex: A Philosophical Analysis. Lanham, MD: Lexington Books.

Kilpatrick, A.C. (1992). Long-Range Effects of Child and Adolescent Sexual Experiences: Mores, Myths, Menaces. Hillsdale NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.

Konker C. (1992). Rethinking Child Sexual Abuse: An Anthropological Perspective. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 62(1), 147-53.

Leahy, T. (1996). Sex and the age of consent: The ethical issues. Social Analysis, 39 (April), 27-55.

Levine, J. (2002). Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex. Minneapolis, MN: University of Minnesota Press.

Lilienfeld, S. O. (2002). When worlds collide: social science, politics, and the child sexual abuse meta-analysis. American Psychologist, 57(3), 176–188.

Martinson, F.M. (1994). The Sexual Life of Children. West Westport, CT: Bergin & Garvey.

O’Carroll, T. (1980). Paedophilia: The Radical Case. London: Peter Owen.

Okami, P. (1991). Self-reports of ‘positive’ childhood and adolescent sexual contacts with older persons: An exploratory study. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 20(5), 437-57.

Prescott, J.W. (1996). The origins of human love and violence. Pre- and Perinatal Psychology

Journal, 10(3), 143-188. The Origins of Peace and Violence: http://www.violence.de/prescott/pppj/article.html Accessed 18 Oct., 2017.

Primoratz, I. (1999). Ethics and sex. London: Routledge.

Rind, B. (2002). The problem with consensus morality, Archives of Sexual Behavior, 31(6), 496-8.

Rind, B., Bauserman, R., & Tromovitch, P. (1998). A meta-analytic examination of assumed properties of child sexual abuse
using college samples. Psychological Bulletin, 124(1), 22–53.

Sandfort, T. (1984) Sex in pedophilic relationships: an empirical investigation among a non-representative group of boys. Journal of Sex Research, 20(2), 123-42.

Wilson, G.D. & Cox, D.N. (1983). The Child-Lovers: A Study of Paedophiles in Society. London: Peter Owen.

 

Book Recommendations

     

Support Lines for Adult Survivors

The National Association for People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC) – UK
Call 0808 801 0331 free from all landlines and mobiles
Monday – Thursday 10:00-21:00 and Friday 10:00-18:00
NAPAC provides a national freephone support line for adults who have suffered any type of abuse in childhood.
Website: www.napac.org.uk

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
The nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline, as well as the Department of Defense (DoD) Safe Helpline and carries out programs to prevent sexual assault, help survivors, and to ensure that perpetrators are brought to justice through victim services, public education, public policy, and consulting services.
Find help and the resources you need. Call 800.656.4673
https://www.rainn.org/

Support Lines for Children

Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline – U.S. and Canada
Dedicated to the prevention of child abuse. The hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with professional crisis counselors who—through interpreters—provide assistance in over 170 languages. The hotline offers crisis intervention, information, and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources. All calls are confidential. (1-800) 4-A-CHILD or (1-800) 422-4453
https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/

NSPCC – UK
The UK’s leading children’s charity, preventing abuse and helping those affected to recover.
Help for adults concerned about a child: 0808 800 5000
Help for children and young people: 0800 1111
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/

Image courtesy: Ubi Desperare Nescio

Dr. Christopher Hamilton

Dr. Christopher Hamilton is Reader in Philosophy at King’s College, London, where he teaches philosophy, literature and film.

His research interests include the relationship between philosophy and literature, and between moral, religious and aesthetic value, the nature of good and evil, the philosophy of tragedy, and the work of both Friedrich Nietzsche and Søren Kierkegaard.

He is the author of a number of books including “How to Deal with Adversity“, “A Philosophy of Tragedy“, and the book which forms the basis of today’s discussion “Middle Age” from the Art of Living Series.

In today’s episode we discuss the philosophy of middle age, and the midlife crisis.

What does it mean to be middle aged, when does middle age start and why does it matter? We discuss the relationship between the midlife crisis and such things as loss of identity, the search for meaning, and the fear of death.

We ask why the crisis of middle age tends to be a uniquely male phenomenon, whether or not our cultural worship of youthfulness is justified, reasons why the midlife crisis can sometimes find expression in immature and reckless behaviour, but also, why purchasing a leather jacket and a convertible sports car might not necessarily be such a bad thing.
 

Related Links

Christopher’s Profile at King’s College London

Christopher’s Speakers Profile at the Institute of Art and Ideas (includes a bunch of different video talks and debates)

Christopher’s FREE online course on Life, Meaning and Morality

Book Recommendations

                          

Image courtesy: Ubi Desperare Nescio

Luis Trigo

Luis Trigo (@savageresolve) is a personal trainer, health coach and fitness ambassador.

After struggling with his weight since childhood and being ostracized throughout high school, at the age of 25, spurred on by compounding health problems and the breakdown of his relationship, he set out on an epic physical and mental transformation.

From a starting weight of 400lbs and 65% bodyfat, in the space of 3.5 years he shed 245lbs, down to 155lbs. After posting the results of his transformation on Instagram, Luis has built up following of almost 40,000 people, and now dedicates his time to coaching clients and producing fitness related content online.

In today’s episode we explore Luis experiences dealing with obesity from childhood, how being overweight affected his social life in high school, and how a health crisis and relationship breakdown in his mid-20’s inspired him to finally turn things around.

Luis also shares some basic diet and exercise principles for anyone getting started on their own fitness journey, how to cultivate patience and self-compassion, and the biggest determining factor in any fitness endeavour, how to master consistency.
 

Related Links

Luis on Instagram @savageresolve

Luis on Facebook

Athlean-X – YouTube Channel

Thomas Deleur – YouTube Channel

Book Recommendations

                    

Image courtesy: Luis Trigo

Well, it had to happen sooner or later, I suppose.

In today’s episode I share my own story of my decent into madness. Beginning with my early childhood flirtations with hypochondria, I take you all the way through my battles with depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, and depersonalization, right the way through to hitting rock bottom in early 2015 when I experienced a brief period of suicidal ideation.

If that doesn’t sound morbid enough, on the way we’ll encounter adoption, drugs, prostitution, strip clubs, brothels, lies, infidelity, gangland violence, ambition, failure, bankruptcy, nudists, modern art, tongue piercings, and my illustrious career as a dog shit picker-upper.

Enjoy!

I’ve included some photos and links below to add a few visuals to the narrative, or just in case anyone thinks I might be telling porkies pies.

 

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Related Links

Hit me up on Twitter: @dannydwhittaker

Calls for investigation after brothel charges – Manchester Evening News

Clubland shooting victim named – BBC

Teen’s key-fob death is still a mystery  – Manchester Evening News

Skinbook: Facebook for 21st Century Nudists – TIME

Book Recommendations

 

Elaine Hanzak

Elaine Hanzak (@elainehanzak) is an author and speaker who uses her experience with postnatal depression and bereavement to deliver keynote presentations on overcoming loss and perinatal mental health.

She is the author of two books, “Eyes Without Sparkle: A Journey Through Postnatal Illness“, which today’s discussion is based on, and the follow-up “Another Twinkle in the Eye: Contemplating Another Pregnancy After Perinatal Mental Illness“.

In 2016 Elaine was nominated for the “Cheshire Woman of the Year” Award for her contribution to community services, and in 2017 she was a finalist at the British Journal of Midwifery Awards in the category of contribution of a non-midwife to mid-wifery practices.

In today’s episode Elaine shares her experience of postnatal depression. How despite dreaming of motherhood her entire life, a traumatic labour, months of sleep deprivation, and the pressures of aspiring to be the perfect mum, eventually caused her to spiral into a period of depression, self-harm, psychosis, and eventually being admitted to a psychiatric hospital.

Having since made a full recovery, Elaine tells us what the experience has taught her about motherhood and life, and she also offers some simple self-care practices to help future mums avoid a similar fate.

 

Related Links

Hanzak.com – Elaine’s website

Elaine Hanzak Facebook Page

Maternal Mental Health Alliance – a UK coalition improving the mental health of women and their children during the perinatal period

Book Recommendations

     

Image courtesy: Jake Guild

 

Mark Williams

Mark Williams (@MarkWilliamsFMH) is the founder of Father’s Reaching Out and co-founder of International Father’s Mental Health Day (19th June).

After experiencing a traumatic labour during the birth of their son Ethan in 2004, both Mark and his wife Michelle struggled with crippling anxiety and post-natal depression.

While Michelle recovered, Mark continued on a downward spiral which eventually culminated in suicidal ideation and a complete nervous breakdown.

After finally seeking help, Mark has since made a full recovery, and now makes it his life’s mission to raise awareness of perinatal mental health issues in fathers.

Mark has spoken around the World at over 150 conferences and events, and has written about fathers’ mental health in several publications.

He has appeared on numerous TV news outlets and has also appeared in television documentaries concerning mental health including Channel 5’s “My Secret Past” discussing post-natal depression.

In 2012 he was awarded “Local Hero” at the Pride of Britain Awards and Inspirational Father of the Year.

 

Recommended Links

Father’s Reaching Out

Dads Cymru

Dads Matter UK

Fathers Mental Health Network

Maternal Mental Health Alliance

Postnatal depression and perinatal mental health (Partners Page) – Mind

Books Mentioned in This Episode

               

 

Image courtesy: Andrés Nieto Porras